Total Cost of Ownership...

Q: What have you paid for today?
A: "Lunch", "gas", "my cell", "the toll on GA 400", "my drycleaning"...

I've never interviewed people on their spending habits. But, if we posed that question to 100 people on the street, we'd get very few answers like "a lie that I told" or "a lie I was sold". And, yet, I'm willing to bet you and I have bought and paid for more lies than gas, food, or cellphone bills.

31 days ago, my younger brother shot and nearly killed himself in a dark, depressed, and angry moment. But, therein lies a lie that I'm newly passionate about dispelling. While the attempt at suicide happens in a moment, the act itself does not. The word "world" appears in the book of John roughly 50 times, and is used there as "moral climate". Suicide is not an event, it's a symptom of the climate inside of us. It is akin to the greenhouse effect - the buildup of contaminants that reflects energy back inward until everything gets so hot that all life suffocates under the weight of its own detritus. Convenience comes at a cost.

Not a one time purchase, a payment plan. Not an event... a process.

I'm not here to debate the veracity of global warming, merely, based on the assumption that everything has a price, to pose the question "what kind of interest are we paying on the convenient monthly payment of hydrocarbon use". Or, more apropos to our discussion here:

"What is the total cost of ownership of silence over critical life issues?"

For my brother, it nearly cost him his life. But, not everyone is willing to talk about their "private" stuff, the stuff that's "no one's business". And, therein lies yet another lie. Privacy, in a world where two or more people interact, is a myth.

The Bible explains that none of us live in a vacuum, that we are all potentially part of "one body". James is very blunt about the consequences of buying this lie. When things go awry on multiple levels: financial, relational, emotional, physical; and we tuck them under the carpet in our head or the catch all closet in our hearts, the process of death begins. Yes, death. Relational death? Financial death? Emotional death? What more accurately do we want to call it? Suffocation of the soul? That works, but it's still a process

Everyday our lives brush against the lives of others and the climate inside us comes into contact with the climate inside them. We can try to keep things private, but as our private stuff brings or destroys life within us, how can it not affect those with whom we come into contact? If we relent when hurt people around us retreat to their carpets and catch all closets to stuff away their stuff, we are allowing them to suffocate themselves. They have bought the lie, it's up to us to show them the fraud.

So, today, in my email update to friends regarding my brother's "miraculous" recovery, I have charged them with this prayer:

"God, I'm trusting in the notion that You know everything and, in the midst of what seems random and frightening and huge, have a plan that's far too big and ornate for my eyes to see or mind to comprehend. Thank You for the people in my life, and indeed my own life. Thank You for my unique and complicated problems and great triumphs and talents. Please, help me to trust that all I see is not all there is, and through this, gain enough perspective to see and pursue the relationships that really matter while there is still time. I trust you to guard and protect me/those in need and pain, even when it seems their path is going amiss. That would make you a pretty ginormous God, and that's the kind of God this world needs. Thank you for being ginormous, however big that is. Amen."