Monday, October 31, 2005
Shameless gloating!!!
Now, everyone who was at God Blog Con was pretty well set on either Matt Anderson or the dashing, young Joshua Claybourne, both may well be close to as good looking as I, just not close enough. When brought to a preliminary vote though, it came down to myself and David “Jollyblogger” Wayne. But, somehow, a surprise, grassroots fueled, 11th hour surge propelled a wily, shine-headed, upstart from Atlanta to the top of the pile (read: I got all my friends to vote for me)!
David, I may be all form, but your content kicks my blog anyday. Thanks for being a good sport.
Thanks to y'all who voted. Thanks to y'all who continue to support via readership and referral. Thanks, also to Stacy for the contest!
Grace and peace.
A
P.S. Claybourne, I'd have voted for you, bro. You're a sharp lookin' dude, and wicked smaaht. Matt, you're a newlywed, so you get to hear how handsome you are all the time...
P.P.S. “Sinful pride” is not a value we condone, here at ALU. The above gloating is actually a pride of the not-so-sinful “Shameless Advertising for Purposes of God’s Glory” variety.
Pornography- Hardcore facts? (2 of 4)
***Original post at 7:23 PM on 10/26/05*** Scroll to next "***" for updated post.
Come on, Christianboy. Pornography is a national past time! Take your "sin" talk and go back to church...
Fair enough. I will. By Friday evening, I will post the "secular" part of our interview. I'll do my very best to present "The Problem With Porn" without mentioning the "G" word. (God, silly.) Some of you out there are asking a really great question: "Why don't you mind your own business?" We'll even discuss that topic - it's a bit of a rager, and could get heated. Are you okay with that? Well, I had a great opportunity to talk with some people who have a clear and secular position on pornography that doesn't involve the "S" word (sin...). I promise I won't even use that word!
More of our interview with Michael Leahy from Bravehearts regarding the problems he faced when pornography's grip tightened. Possible details from a former "sex industry" worker or two who will discuss the "complications" porn brought into their lives. "Compli...?" Trust me, you'll have a chance to talk back - it's a blog, remember?
Thanks for your patience while we adjust to a new schedule.
Aarron
Pornography:
Michael Leahy wasn’t the most popular kid in school. But, when college came, he began to shine. A two year letterman on his football team, student body president, he was recruited by IBM to live the American Dream. Along the path to success, he married his wife, Patty, continued the corporate climb with Unysis and NEC, and started a family.
Michael’s secret affair with pornography led him to a very dark place. First of all, he had to keep the relationship secret, and second, he experienced a need for more graphic porn and eventually began seeking to act out his fantasies in real life, leading to an affair with a woman outside his marriage. The affair with both the woman and the images eventually cost him his marriage, but the trust and respect o his children, his brother (with whom he had a successful business partnership), and his business. Michael now spends his time lecturing to (this year) over 50,000 college students about how his relationship with porn led his life awry, nearly ending in suicide. Students get to hear about the dangers inherent in porn and the result of his battle with addiction over a two night lecture series.
While porn carries with it some intrinsic dangers, a prolonged relationship with it leads to a package of habits he calls “sex syndrome”. One of these dangers is “Objectification”. By definition, reducing a person, or even object, that is complex and multifaceted, to the status of a simple object, is objectifying. Please hear this, not as an indictment or condemnation: when all we see and are concerned with is the speed of the new, improved, Corvette, the sizzle of that Cajun marinated steak, or the “***”s on that girl, we are objectifying the car, the food, the human being. The consequences of doing this are what can be damaging to us as individuals and as a culture.
In Michael’s words, “I began to see everyone in my life as an object, not just women. Everyone I met, I looked at from a “what’s in it for me” point of view.” This simplification of a person down to the body part that you admire most or the sex act that you saw them perform is a natural result of porn. “I didn’t want any of those women, I just wanted the sex.” Anyone he met was now a product for his consumption. I’m not condemning consumption, but how would it make you feel to cross his path? Like an... object? Ladies, pick a sex part and raise your hand if that’s the first thing you want your Prince Charming to think of when he rides in on his white horse. (Yes, I know I’m making a big assumption about the prince, and the horse. Cut me some slack for purposes of this example, cool? Thanks.)
Are we really wiser for the wear? Do we really believe it is meant for “educating” us on how to resolve conflict in a relationship, how to manage expectations in marriage, how to experience non-physical intimacy that could carry us through difficult times, how to confront abusive behavior with our spouse, how to develop and maintain character and bolster our mate’s self esteem? And yet, the sex act is so titillating, so enticing, that watching it burns into our brains images that we can never remove on our own, building concurrently lopsided expectations and an unbalanced understanding of what sex “ought to be”.
Watching porn emphasizes and consequently overemphasizes the image and the act alone, separate from the relational acts of intimacy that we all so desperately desire and therein seek. Why watch hours or tens or hundreds of hours of bodybuilding films when you could spend that same time actually lifting weights? What if the same time spent watching porn was spent learning and improving relational and personal intimacy skills? Could one, then potentially learn to be a better husband, father, co-worker, customer service conflict guru, boss, Grand Pubah of Management and Sales?
Conversely, what long term, broad based consequences can, have, or will arise out of a society driven primarily by men who see people only as objects? What then when the women join in step? Is that the kind of society of which we'll be proud to raise the next generations? It is partly for this reason that Christians see pornography as "their business". It is also because so many Christians are victims and/or partners in pornography addiction. (Sidenote: We are not immune to these effects and must not shame, attack, or denegrate those that are struggling - it is simply anti-Christ to do so. Hello?)
If your certainty is less than 90%, how excited are you over the level of personal sexual intimacy you are currently experiencing? How can you possibly connect deeply, or how deeply can you possibly connect with one person while he is imagining your head on her neck with her(2) arms, her(3) body, and their legs? His head and consequently, your bed is full of other women, all vying for his affection!
Am I crazy? Is it possible that I’m right? If so, what’s the wise choice? Michael's simple advice regarding a split with porn: “What you feed, grows and what you starve, dies.” Do all you can to distance yourself from the imagery and you can then begin to reconstruct more balanced and deeper personal intimacy skills. My walk down that path ended at 31 and didn't cost me a marriage, a business, or more than $12 in late fees. Lucky? Perhaps. But, now that I have decided that I don’t want porn in my head, I’ll be lucky if I ever get what’s already in there out. Better not to have looked in the first place, or as Linkin Park chants “and the memory now/is like the picture was then/when the paper’s crumpled up/it can’t be perfect again.”
How badly “crumpled” is your memory? How deep the creases? What are you willing to do to iron them out and make it pure again? For me, it’s been three years porn free, intentionally, deliberately, and not without the support of my community group, and certainly not alone.
Decidedly Christian resources:
Every Man's Battle This book was very practical and a purposeful aid in helping me break the habit.
Not Even a Hint Great little book for Christians struggling with lust (that would be all of us...)
Any other good links, secular or not? Comment below...
Come on, Christianboy. Pornography is a national past time! Take your "sin" talk and go back to church...
Fair enough. I will. By Friday evening, I will post the "secular" part of our interview. I'll do my very best to present "The Problem With Porn" without mentioning the "G" word. (God, silly.) Some of you out there are asking a really great question: "Why don't you mind your own business?" We'll even discuss that topic - it's a bit of a rager, and could get heated. Are you okay with that? Well, I had a great opportunity to talk with some people who have a clear and secular position on pornography that doesn't involve the "S" word (sin...). I promise I won't even use that word!
More of our interview with Michael Leahy from Bravehearts regarding the problems he faced when pornography's grip tightened. Possible details from a former "sex industry" worker or two who will discuss the "complications" porn brought into their lives. "Compli...?" Trust me, you'll have a chance to talk back - it's a blog, remember?
Thanks for your patience while we adjust to a new schedule.
Aarron
***Update***
Pornography:
Stinkin’ Habits of Highly Defective Relationships
Michael Leahy wasn’t the most popular kid in school. But, when college came, he began to shine. A two year letterman on his football team, student body president, he was recruited by IBM to live the American Dream. Along the path to success, he married his wife, Patty, continued the corporate climb with Unysis and NEC, and started a family.
Michael’s secret affair with pornography led him to a very dark place. First of all, he had to keep the relationship secret, and second, he experienced a need for more graphic porn and eventually began seeking to act out his fantasies in real life, leading to an affair with a woman outside his marriage. The affair with both the woman and the images eventually cost him his marriage, but the trust and respect o his children, his brother (with whom he had a successful business partnership), and his business. Michael now spends his time lecturing to (this year) over 50,000 college students about how his relationship with porn led his life awry, nearly ending in suicide. Students get to hear about the dangers inherent in porn and the result of his battle with addiction over a two night lecture series.
While porn carries with it some intrinsic dangers, a prolonged relationship with it leads to a package of habits he calls “sex syndrome”. One of these dangers is “Objectification”. By definition, reducing a person, or even object, that is complex and multifaceted, to the status of a simple object, is objectifying. Please hear this, not as an indictment or condemnation: when all we see and are concerned with is the speed of the new, improved, Corvette, the sizzle of that Cajun marinated steak, or the “***”s on that girl, we are objectifying the car, the food, the human being. The consequences of doing this are what can be damaging to us as individuals and as a culture.
In Michael’s words, “I began to see everyone in my life as an object, not just women. Everyone I met, I looked at from a “what’s in it for me” point of view.” This simplification of a person down to the body part that you admire most or the sex act that you saw them perform is a natural result of porn. “I didn’t want any of those women, I just wanted the sex.” Anyone he met was now a product for his consumption. I’m not condemning consumption, but how would it make you feel to cross his path? Like an... object? Ladies, pick a sex part and raise your hand if that’s the first thing you want your Prince Charming to think of when he rides in on his white horse. (Yes, I know I’m making a big assumption about the prince, and the horse. Cut me some slack for purposes of this example, cool? Thanks.)
Unbalanced Education
Out of 14,000 hours of education from K-12 we are never required more than a superficial knowledge of, rarely ever accompanied by critiqued and strategic role playing, personal intimacy, much less the psychosocial ramifications of sexual relations that ought to go along with sex education if it is to be taught at all. Porn, even over the short term, gives us what we mistakenly believe to be a PhD in sex, but only the act itself instead of a "well rounded", Renaissance paradigm.Are we really wiser for the wear? Do we really believe it is meant for “educating” us on how to resolve conflict in a relationship, how to manage expectations in marriage, how to experience non-physical intimacy that could carry us through difficult times, how to confront abusive behavior with our spouse, how to develop and maintain character and bolster our mate’s self esteem? And yet, the sex act is so titillating, so enticing, that watching it burns into our brains images that we can never remove on our own, building concurrently lopsided expectations and an unbalanced understanding of what sex “ought to be”.
Watching porn emphasizes and consequently overemphasizes the image and the act alone, separate from the relational acts of intimacy that we all so desperately desire and therein seek. Why watch hours or tens or hundreds of hours of bodybuilding films when you could spend that same time actually lifting weights? What if the same time spent watching porn was spent learning and improving relational and personal intimacy skills? Could one, then potentially learn to be a better husband, father, co-worker, customer service conflict guru, boss, Grand Pubah of Management and Sales?
Conversely, what long term, broad based consequences can, have, or will arise out of a society driven primarily by men who see people only as objects? What then when the women join in step? Is that the kind of society of which we'll be proud to raise the next generations? It is partly for this reason that Christians see pornography as "their business". It is also because so many Christians are victims and/or partners in pornography addiction. (Sidenote: We are not immune to these effects and must not shame, attack, or denegrate those that are struggling - it is simply anti-Christ to do so. Hello?)
Decrease in Intimacy
If feeling less like an object than a person does not cause intimacy problems enough, let’s look at another facet of the interpersonal effects of porn. Ladies, how many of you really equate intimacy with sharing your boyfriend or husband with another woman? Michael’s ex-wife, Patty is like hundreds of thousands of women who share the sentiment of a 34-year-old woman married 14 years to a minister who she discovered was compulsively seeking sexual satisfaction by visiting pornographic sites on the Internet.“How can I compete with hundreds of anonymous others who are now in our bed, in his head?” the woman wrote. “Our bed is crowded with countless faceless strangers, where once we were intimate.” (HT: New York Times)The more sexual images we load into our brains, the harder it becomes to be truly intimate with the person we’re with at the time. Here’s a little litmus test for you, ladies:
While making love to your partner, how sure are you that they are thinking only of you?
If your certainty is less than 90%, how excited are you over the level of personal sexual intimacy you are currently experiencing? How can you possibly connect deeply, or how deeply can you possibly connect with one person while he is imagining your head on her neck with her(2) arms, her(3) body, and their legs? His head and consequently, your bed is full of other women, all vying for his affection!
Getting Off
Our pastor, Andy Stanley, interviewed Michael and his ex-wife in November of 2004, for a part two of a two part series called “Exposed”. His bottom line was simple “Pornography is a path, not a past time.” Looking at porn and what our mind does with it exists on a continuum from casual viewing to acting out in real time. We don’t get on 95N in Florida and get angry that we wound up in Maine two days later. That’s just where that road leads. The consequences Michael has experienced are the eventual destination of the Porn Parkway. Whether and where we get off that road before then is clearly up to us. But, isn’t it nice there are plenty of exits between Florida and Maine?Am I crazy? Is it possible that I’m right? If so, what’s the wise choice? Michael's simple advice regarding a split with porn: “What you feed, grows and what you starve, dies.” Do all you can to distance yourself from the imagery and you can then begin to reconstruct more balanced and deeper personal intimacy skills. My walk down that path ended at 31 and didn't cost me a marriage, a business, or more than $12 in late fees. Lucky? Perhaps. But, now that I have decided that I don’t want porn in my head, I’ll be lucky if I ever get what’s already in there out. Better not to have looked in the first place, or as Linkin Park chants “and the memory now/is like the picture was then/when the paper’s crumpled up/it can’t be perfect again.”
How badly “crumpled” is your memory? How deep the creases? What are you willing to do to iron them out and make it pure again? For me, it’s been three years porn free, intentionally, deliberately, and not without the support of my community group, and certainly not alone.
Decidedly Christian resources:
Every Man's Battle This book was very practical and a purposeful aid in helping me break the habit.
Not Even a Hint Great little book for Christians struggling with lust (that would be all of us...)
Any other good links, secular or not? Comment below...
Friday, October 28, 2005
The Naked Truth
I know, not a very original title. Neither is the story. It's about a guy who had everything and lost it pursuing something he could never get.
Unfortunately, you've had to wait. Now you have to wait until tomorrow...
Due to unforseen circumstances, my next article will not be up until Saturday. I promise I will get it done. Thank you for your readership. It means a lot.
Aarron
***Update
***As promised, I've got it done, just need to get it posted tonight, no service yesterday, but it'll be up. Thanks for the patience.
A
Unfortunately, you've had to wait. Now you have to wait until tomorrow...
Due to unforseen circumstances, my next article will not be up until Saturday. I promise I will get it done. Thank you for your readership. It means a lot.
Aarron
***Update
***As promised, I've got it done, just need to get it posted tonight, no service yesterday, but it'll be up. Thanks for the patience.
A
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Character.
Most of you know I started a new career last week. While on a job site yesterday, I saw a page prominently hung on the wall over a young lady's desk. It said:
Your gifts and talents can take you to great places in work and in life.
It is your character that will keep you there.
I met the most amazing woman when I went to Los Angeles this month. This is not a romantic reference. I am saying that I met someone of clear intellect who lives her life with character, by principle, not pretension. Are you encouraged by the fact that women exist who have not fallen for the lie that "image is everything", "it's not who you are, it's who you know". Let's just say this: Lores, has written an article that sets this type of woman apart - not because of her political affiliation, faith, or any other superficial title. This is the example we are trying to set here - that all are welcome, none are more or less important, but that God has a life for us to lead that is demanding, difficult, and disciplined, but rewarding, relationally rich, and 'rithmetic. (Couldn't find another "r" off the top of my head, and we were getting a bit too serious.)
For now, just check this out: and visit this blog and hers more often - we will talk more about character, responsibility, humility, integrity, purity, modesty - all in ways that I once thought were either weak or irrelevant, but now see as answers to many of the greatest problems our society suffers.
Thanks for reading. Pass this blog on, will ya?
Grace and peace,
Aarron
P.S. For those who do pray, please keep my family in your utterances - we just lost a very unique and warm aunt this week and discovered that there are many of us around the country unable to attend the funeral - comfort them while they handle the difficulties surrounding Aunt Betsy's passing.
Your gifts and talents can take you to great places in work and in life.
It is your character that will keep you there.
I met the most amazing woman when I went to Los Angeles this month. This is not a romantic reference. I am saying that I met someone of clear intellect who lives her life with character, by principle, not pretension. Are you encouraged by the fact that women exist who have not fallen for the lie that "image is everything", "it's not who you are, it's who you know". Let's just say this: Lores, has written an article that sets this type of woman apart - not because of her political affiliation, faith, or any other superficial title. This is the example we are trying to set here - that all are welcome, none are more or less important, but that God has a life for us to lead that is demanding, difficult, and disciplined, but rewarding, relationally rich, and 'rithmetic. (Couldn't find another "r" off the top of my head, and we were getting a bit too serious.)
For now, just check this out: and visit this blog and hers more often - we will talk more about character, responsibility, humility, integrity, purity, modesty - all in ways that I once thought were either weak or irrelevant, but now see as answers to many of the greatest problems our society suffers.
Thanks for reading. Pass this blog on, will ya?
Grace and peace,
Aarron
P.S. For those who do pray, please keep my family in your utterances - we just lost a very unique and warm aunt this week and discovered that there are many of us around the country unable to attend the funeral - comfort them while they handle the difficulties surrounding Aunt Betsy's passing.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
But, in the meantime...
While I'm busy working billion hour days, thinking about someday writing part 2 of the "Why Both Sides and I Think Pornography is a Bad Influence"...
Jan was taking a break from her knitting and made a rather nice comment about the preferred tone of our little blog. Periodically, I think it helps to repeat a point of focus, for reinforcement and to keep those who join in late up to speed. Christians, as a matter of history, have been well known for works, both good and bad. One of the confessions I will continue to make is that while we have often attracted great doers, some of our thinkers do in a rather unthinkful way. (My blog, my word... tough.)
An acquaintance of mine, Jeremy Thiessen, of the very cool band Downhere, has a similar gripe to mine. My contention is that if the claims of the Bible are true, and the worldwide conglomeration of professed Christians really are "the church", then we really do represent "the Brand" and ought to do so with excellence. After all, if God is so great and all that we do in response to His greatness is defined as worship , then shouldn't it be representative of an irresistable, perfect, and loving God?
A lot of us really need to find a nice, comfy chair and read a great book called "Following Jesus Without Embarrasing God". Now, before my brothers and sisters in Christ flip out, "Yes, God loves us even if we can't spell well or have lousy grammar." This is not an excuse for mediocrity. If we are commissioned with "drawing people near to God" and "winning souls to Christ", how appealing is a God whose people don't even tip 15%? [Yeah, I want to "join your club so I can be a cheapskate like you..."] How winsome are those who speak only in Christianese jargon, thinking that throwing "Bible darts" at people will magically show them a true and cogent understanding of mercy and grace (which I'll define later for those confused by this ironic use of jargon)?
Case in point: the aforementioned rockstar and I believe that those signs outside of churches are just flat-out suckin' the life outta' me!!!
Let me catch my breath.
Alright. Having struggled with a bad temper for nearly three decades, I understand how poor self control turns people off in any argument, discussion, or discourse. 7 years in the restaurant business taught me that "presentation and perception are everything", meaning all else being equal, if it don't look good, people aren't going to want to taste what's on their plate. Paul admonishes in his letter to the church at Colossus: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Col. 4.6)NIV" Doesn't that mean we should respond to neoCons in neoConese, libDems in libDemese, hackers in code? Our continued resistance to engage the culture without embracing it (of but not in, in Christianese), speaking in code will rarely ever influence a "non-believer" the way our heart desires. (Jargon breakdown: "non-believers" are those who are not and have never been "professing Christians" - hopefully I didn't just define jargon with jargon).
Our goal, even if both sides disagree on theology is to at least help them get better at presenting their ideas - raise the bar on the quality of the ongoing dialogue.
• If you know a church that "just doesn't get it", find a polite and "seasoned with salt" way to bring up that (Col. 4.6) verse to them. Ask them how they feel it applies to the catchy signs and sayings that are associated with their church's marketing materials and signage. For added credibility, if you're not a professing Christian, let them know you're speaking as a representative of their "target market" and are turned off by their approach. (Again, try it with more season and less "salt"). Contact the guys over at Church Marketing Sucks and hook them up with your newly adopted friends at "First Jargon Episcopalebycomparison Church" to see if they're a match made in marketing heaven.
• If you're a "believer", check out some things at The Church Report's 50 Most Influential Churches". See what some of these churches are up to. Look at how they are "reaching" people for Christ (Jargon breakdown- reaching: explaining the gospel in a coherent manner that is relevant, convincing, and life changing). #3 on the list, Andy Stanley is well known for saying "your discipleship model is perfectly designed to give you the results you are currently getting." Thus, if you want different results, change what you're doing.
• Post a link to this blog, Jeremy's blog, or any on my blogroll, and encourage people to engage in the discussion. Listen, even those "actively apathetic toward religion (AARTs) [HT:WB" would agree that Christianity offers at least some good wisdom and valuable teaching. We may never all agree on my "narrow" Christian view of "approaching God through Christ alone", but what if we could get a massive majority of AARTs just living a life that reflects what the Bible teaches? Could we make an impact on poverty, disease, illiteracy, and war? Could we balance a budget and raise people who live on cash instead of debt? Could we create a society of people in control of their tempers and appetites? What couldn't we do?
Remember, I could be a complete idiot.
What's your opinion?
A
Jan was taking a break from her knitting and made a rather nice comment about the preferred tone of our little blog. Periodically, I think it helps to repeat a point of focus, for reinforcement and to keep those who join in late up to speed. Christians, as a matter of history, have been well known for works, both good and bad. One of the confessions I will continue to make is that while we have often attracted great doers, some of our thinkers do in a rather unthinkful way. (My blog, my word... tough.)
An acquaintance of mine, Jeremy Thiessen, of the very cool band Downhere, has a similar gripe to mine. My contention is that if the claims of the Bible are true, and the worldwide conglomeration of professed Christians really are "the church", then we really do represent "the Brand" and ought to do so with excellence. After all, if God is so great and all that we do in response to His greatness is defined as worship , then shouldn't it be representative of an irresistable, perfect, and loving God?
A lot of us really need to find a nice, comfy chair and read a great book called "Following Jesus Without Embarrasing God". Now, before my brothers and sisters in Christ flip out, "Yes, God loves us even if we can't spell well or have lousy grammar." This is not an excuse for mediocrity. If we are commissioned with "drawing people near to God" and "winning souls to Christ", how appealing is a God whose people don't even tip 15%? [Yeah, I want to "join your club so I can be a cheapskate like you..."] How winsome are those who speak only in Christianese jargon, thinking that throwing "Bible darts" at people will magically show them a true and cogent understanding of mercy and grace (which I'll define later for those confused by this ironic use of jargon)?
Case in point: the aforementioned rockstar and I believe that those signs outside of churches are just flat-out suckin' the life outta' me!!!
Let me catch my breath.
Alright. Having struggled with a bad temper for nearly three decades, I understand how poor self control turns people off in any argument, discussion, or discourse. 7 years in the restaurant business taught me that "presentation and perception are everything", meaning all else being equal, if it don't look good, people aren't going to want to taste what's on their plate. Paul admonishes in his letter to the church at Colossus: "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Col. 4.6)NIV" Doesn't that mean we should respond to neoCons in neoConese, libDems in libDemese, hackers in code? Our continued resistance to engage the culture without embracing it (of but not in, in Christianese), speaking in code will rarely ever influence a "non-believer" the way our heart desires. (Jargon breakdown: "non-believers" are those who are not and have never been "professing Christians" - hopefully I didn't just define jargon with jargon).
Our goal, even if both sides disagree on theology is to at least help them get better at presenting their ideas - raise the bar on the quality of the ongoing dialogue.
• If you know a church that "just doesn't get it", find a polite and "seasoned with salt" way to bring up that (Col. 4.6) verse to them. Ask them how they feel it applies to the catchy signs and sayings that are associated with their church's marketing materials and signage. For added credibility, if you're not a professing Christian, let them know you're speaking as a representative of their "target market" and are turned off by their approach. (Again, try it with more season and less "salt"). Contact the guys over at Church Marketing Sucks and hook them up with your newly adopted friends at "First Jargon Episcopalebycomparison Church" to see if they're a match made in marketing heaven.
• If you're a "believer", check out some things at The Church Report's 50 Most Influential Churches". See what some of these churches are up to. Look at how they are "reaching" people for Christ (Jargon breakdown- reaching: explaining the gospel in a coherent manner that is relevant, convincing, and life changing). #3 on the list, Andy Stanley is well known for saying "your discipleship model is perfectly designed to give you the results you are currently getting." Thus, if you want different results, change what you're doing.
• Post a link to this blog, Jeremy's blog, or any on my blogroll, and encourage people to engage in the discussion. Listen, even those "actively apathetic toward religion (AARTs) [HT:WB" would agree that Christianity offers at least some good wisdom and valuable teaching. We may never all agree on my "narrow" Christian view of "approaching God through Christ alone", but what if we could get a massive majority of AARTs just living a life that reflects what the Bible teaches? Could we make an impact on poverty, disease, illiteracy, and war? Could we balance a budget and raise people who live on cash instead of debt? Could we create a society of people in control of their tempers and appetites? What couldn't we do?
Remember, I could be a complete idiot.
What's your opinion?
A
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Pornography- It’s No Big Deal (1 of 4)
No, perhaps not. While we’re at it, perhaps Chris Farley is still alive, the world is flat, and Michael Jackson’s still legally black. These things are all true from some angle, since I was just watching “Tommy Boy” as Farley and Spade drove across the flatlands of the Midwest and I made an iPod playlist including “Billie Jean” and “Thriller”. But, if porn is not a big deal then tell me why internet pornography now does over $1B per year, why a study released over a year and a half ago stated that the porn industry did over $57B that year, $3B of which was child pornography, and why my friend, Michael Leahy, lost his marriage, his business partnership, and the trust of his friends, family, and peers.
Tonight, I had the privilege of interviewing Michael, as well as two very gifted and (to use the Christian buzzword) “relevant” pastors, Mike and Craig, who are taking action to make a difference in a way that sounds entirely “unChristian” given the track record of most believers that you and I have experienced.
Mike Foster and Craig Gross founded “The #1 Christian Porn Site: XXXChurch,” about three years ago in an attempt to address the myriad problems posed by the “crack cocaine of the internet”. Since then, they have preached the message that “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” all over the US, the TV, and even the AEE (yes, the Adult Entertainment Expo!).
Their ministry intends to not only to drag porn out of the closet (their Podcast is called “Dirty Little Secrets” from the song by the metal band “Pillar”), but also to minister to those within the industry itself. They have attended this adult industry trade show, and others, for three years now. While most protestors of virtually any cause typically stand outside waving signs and shouting useless, condemning slogans, these two take the “Jesus” approach. They actually mingle with and actively love the sinners within. (Note: Since Christianity states that we are all sinners (Rom. 3.23), I ask you remain assured this is not a fingerpointing session without the first finger back at the finger waver.)
This sounds preposterous to most and opposition, is loud, ever present, and even posted on their site. Unfortunately, it comes mostly from Christians. While the wisest man in the world once wrote “better is open rebuke than hidden love. (Prov. 27.5)” Christians are also told “Let your conversation be always full of grace...(Col. 4.6)” Is it possible some of these good hearted folks have missed the point? (Please paint question a non-sarcastic shade of red).
A majority of the rebuke comes from a serious concern over how exactly to address the issue of porn. In a conversation with one young man tonight after Mike and Craig spoke at 7:22, he admitted to me “I want to talk about this with people [to help them], but I don’t know what to say. It’s always avoided in sermons. No one’s ever said to me what these guys said tonight.” Bill Hybels, pastor at Willow Creek Church, concurs: “the reason why churches don’t talk about porn is because they are not equipped to do so.
Standing firmly divided on methodology, what do we do? What should we do? What can we do? Mike Foster fights the “you’re just in this for the money” objection and commands “go to our website. Download the free [accountability] software and start talking about this with the people who are close to you.” Drag the discussion out of the dark. Michael Leahy agrees: “what you feed grows. What you starve dies”, obviously referring to the addiction to pornography but pointing also to the fact that if the stigma attached to the “dirty little secret” stays both dirty and secret, it will eventually stop being small and derail relationships, careers, and lives.
The floor is open. What’s fair game theologically – do we rebuke these guys privately, or publicly, for taking an “unorthodox approach”? From a secular point of view, where do we go?
In part 2, we’ll talk directly with Michael Leahy, of Bravehearts, who speaks directly to tens of thousands of college students each year about the dangers of porn from both a Christian and secular worldview. In part 3 we’ll discuss more from pastors Mike and Craig, and in part 4 we’ll address much of the aggregated feedback.
Tonight, I had the privilege of interviewing Michael, as well as two very gifted and (to use the Christian buzzword) “relevant” pastors, Mike and Craig, who are taking action to make a difference in a way that sounds entirely “unChristian” given the track record of most believers that you and I have experienced.
Mike Foster and Craig Gross founded “The #1 Christian Porn Site: XXXChurch,” about three years ago in an attempt to address the myriad problems posed by the “crack cocaine of the internet”. Since then, they have preached the message that “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” all over the US, the TV, and even the AEE (yes, the Adult Entertainment Expo!).
Their ministry intends to not only to drag porn out of the closet (their Podcast is called “Dirty Little Secrets” from the song by the metal band “Pillar”), but also to minister to those within the industry itself. They have attended this adult industry trade show, and others, for three years now. While most protestors of virtually any cause typically stand outside waving signs and shouting useless, condemning slogans, these two take the “Jesus” approach. They actually mingle with and actively love the sinners within. (Note: Since Christianity states that we are all sinners (Rom. 3.23), I ask you remain assured this is not a fingerpointing session without the first finger back at the finger waver.)
This sounds preposterous to most and opposition, is loud, ever present, and even posted on their site. Unfortunately, it comes mostly from Christians. While the wisest man in the world once wrote “better is open rebuke than hidden love. (Prov. 27.5)” Christians are also told “Let your conversation be always full of grace...(Col. 4.6)” Is it possible some of these good hearted folks have missed the point? (Please paint question a non-sarcastic shade of red).
A majority of the rebuke comes from a serious concern over how exactly to address the issue of porn. In a conversation with one young man tonight after Mike and Craig spoke at 7:22, he admitted to me “I want to talk about this with people [to help them], but I don’t know what to say. It’s always avoided in sermons. No one’s ever said to me what these guys said tonight.” Bill Hybels, pastor at Willow Creek Church, concurs: “the reason why churches don’t talk about porn is because they are not equipped to do so.
Standing firmly divided on methodology, what do we do? What should we do? What can we do? Mike Foster fights the “you’re just in this for the money” objection and commands “go to our website. Download the free [accountability] software and start talking about this with the people who are close to you.” Drag the discussion out of the dark. Michael Leahy agrees: “what you feed grows. What you starve dies”, obviously referring to the addiction to pornography but pointing also to the fact that if the stigma attached to the “dirty little secret” stays both dirty and secret, it will eventually stop being small and derail relationships, careers, and lives.
The floor is open. What’s fair game theologically – do we rebuke these guys privately, or publicly, for taking an “unorthodox approach”? From a secular point of view, where do we go?
In part 2, we’ll talk directly with Michael Leahy, of Bravehearts, who speaks directly to tens of thousands of college students each year about the dangers of porn from both a Christian and secular worldview. In part 3 we’ll discuss more from pastors Mike and Craig, and in part 4 we’ll address much of the aggregated feedback.
Welcome
This is our inaugural post. Thank you for visiting. I started this blog because as a non-believer, I have been increasingly frustrated with the many wrongs that Chrsitians have done all in the name of "God". This is especially difficult to deal with now that I AM a believer. Imagine waking up one morning as the head of a PR firm that defends Dow Chemicals. How could you champion the cause of a corporation with a record for pollution a mile long? Sure they create solvents, paper, and even cleaners, but the byproducts have wreaked havoc with the environment!
It is challenging to know the message that God says "come as you are, I'll clean you up" is being twisted by people within His very church to make them feel guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I listened in awe today as I heard a pornographer state
"I think religion is the most destructive and hurtful industry in the world."
That's not the gospel.
That's because of people, just like you and I if you're a believer, that have misbehaved, misjudged, and mistreated others, thereby misrepresenting the Brand. Doesn't the Bible teach "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5.8)? Doesn't it teach "we were by nature objects of wrath. But... God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ even while we were dead in transgressions.(Eph. 2.4-5)"? Isn't it written: "...in humility consider others better than yourselves (Phil. 2.3b)"?
I want to hear your take on this. What confusions do you have about Christianity? What concerns you about "Christians"? What is the worst treatment you've ever received from a "professed" Christian? What is the worst I've ever done to you? The way I read it, Christianity is more about the life change that happens when faith intersects with faithfulness. How can we spread that message if we can't connect person to person, honestly, transparently, and with true confession? I'll repent, will you be a partner in that process? Your comments are invited and welcome. Please, though, respect that I do intend to keep this website free of profanity. I do not edit posts, but I will delete them if we're using unnecessary language - this does not mean that truth needs be suppressed, but use sound judgement. We will tackle difficult subjects: homosexuality, divorce, hypocrisy, pornography, just try to keep the language appropriate.
Holy hollerback.
It is challenging to know the message that God says "come as you are, I'll clean you up" is being twisted by people within His very church to make them feel guilty, dirty, and ashamed. I listened in awe today as I heard a pornographer state
"I think religion is the most destructive and hurtful industry in the world."
That's not the gospel.
That's because of people, just like you and I if you're a believer, that have misbehaved, misjudged, and mistreated others, thereby misrepresenting the Brand. Doesn't the Bible teach "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5.8)? Doesn't it teach "we were by nature objects of wrath. But... God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive in Christ even while we were dead in transgressions.(Eph. 2.4-5)"? Isn't it written: "...in humility consider others better than yourselves (Phil. 2.3b)"?
I want to hear your take on this. What confusions do you have about Christianity? What concerns you about "Christians"? What is the worst treatment you've ever received from a "professed" Christian? What is the worst I've ever done to you? The way I read it, Christianity is more about the life change that happens when faith intersects with faithfulness. How can we spread that message if we can't connect person to person, honestly, transparently, and with true confession? I'll repent, will you be a partner in that process? Your comments are invited and welcome. Please, though, respect that I do intend to keep this website free of profanity. I do not edit posts, but I will delete them if we're using unnecessary language - this does not mean that truth needs be suppressed, but use sound judgement. We will tackle difficult subjects: homosexuality, divorce, hypocrisy, pornography, just try to keep the language appropriate.
Holy hollerback.
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