"In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat her with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. If you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard." 1 Peter 3.7 NLT
I think the NLT gets the Greek word "time" right here - it is often translated "respect" or "value". But, "honor" is a word often used reciprocally in reference to the relationship husbands and wives should have. But, there is no need for offense. This is not a "barefoot and pregnant" command. This is not in any way meant to be misogynistic. Hard to believe?
Let's give credit where due - we men, as a whole, tend to be rough, brash, more focused on logic and solutions than women. Oops. Just lost credibility... Am I painting with broad strokes? So was the apostle Peter in this verse. Does he leave room for exceptions? Clearly. However, as a general rule, if you were God for a moment and you knew how stubborn men were on the whole, and you had seen them screw up this relationship thing over and over, wouldn't you give them a clear and clamorous caveat about their bumbling approach to relationships?
Boys, what do we do when carrying an object of great value? I'm thinking a priceless Ming vase filled with Philippe de Rothschild's finest wine. Are we a bit more careful where and how we step? Do we take into consideration every edge, corner, and surface of the objet d'art we hold in our hands?
Notice, though, that the apostle Peter urges us in indefinite terms first and then comes back to definite status "she may be weaker... but she is your equal partner". In other words, "you are equally yoked, but will have a tendency to pull at different speeds - in emotional situations she will walk more steadily than you, but you may have a tendency to drag her through logic when she really needs nurturing. Take care - heed her mood, read her mood, lead her mood in the way she needs her mood to be lead, and then you will avoid unnecessary relational damage, scars, and bruising - your prayers will not be hindered."
Am I reading too much into this? Are these generalizations degrading to women? What if God knew something ages ago that we still struggle with and stumble over to this very day - that men and women are different and we must learn how to treat each other to avoid the relational chaos that so permeates our broken, selfish world? If He didn't know that, do you think He'd have put so many pairs of relational counsel in His word? Notice how often advice is given first to one sex and then to the other? For fun, look at the two lines He commands for women in chapter 5 of Ephesians that preceed the four lines that follow directed right at the men. No pressure, guys...
We have the potential to come together with the word of God between us, or to let our misunderstandings of it divide us. But, if God's greatest commands are to love Him, and love others as ourselves, wouldn't it make sense that his warning to men would be - treat her tenderly, with honor, value, and respect, as you would if she were a weaker partner or your hard, unflexible heart will connect to me like a bogged down dial-up connection in a busy chat room?
Simply stated: "Treat her as if or I'll make you wish you did." - God
Or, in the words of my favorite Haiku
"Oh, she wants me to
love her just like she would love
her if she were me..."
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