Hope = confidence?

Recently, I was reading in Romans 8 where Paul describes hope and asks "But hope that is seen is no hope at all. For, who hopes for what he already has?" And, then, he expounds in verse 25: "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." So, hope = waiting patiently.

But, I felt God leading me deeper into that definition. For some reason, I felt a pressure in my head that made me think about the word "waiting". I thought about some of the things we wait for and the attitude surrounding our wait. We wait for the light to turn green. Okay, I can see the choice to wait patiently or impatiently. Hope would be active in this moment. We wait for the bus to come. We can wait paitently or impatiently. That makes sense, too.

But, when we cross the line from patiently waiting to impatiently waiting, I think we begin to lose hope, not only by definition, but by absense of a certain assumed quality: confidence. Sometimes, I'm waiting at a red light that just won't turn, I'll do that mythological high beam flash so the light will think I'm an ambulance and then change for me. Other times, impatience leads me to roll over the sensor again... and again. "Did you notice my car here?!" These actions are all outpourings of a loss of confidence. Doing this is a key indicator that I'm not confident the light will ever change. No confidence, no patience. No patience, no hope. Suddenly, I've crossed the border of waiting and moved to wondering.

This morning, during quiet time, I was mulling over a few things about the wedding, the move, the bills, and all that comes with an impending marriage. I found myself doing something I have done four or five times this week, and caught myself doing. Sighing. Immediately, Romans 8 came to mind when Paul talks about the creation being subject to frustration and groaning inwardly with anticipation. My betrothed has said repeatedly - "I just want the wedding to be over [so we can enjoy being married]." I found myself in a sympathetic echo.

I looked up, and did the only thing I could do, I laughed. "Father, you have such a clever sense of humor." For God to have brought me through these verses so much in the past month and then to catch myself groaning, it was like an "I get it." moment. We laughed. God and I laughed together. I in spite of myself and God in a sort of "now, you understand what I go through with you?" kind of way.

"Now, wait patiently. Be confident that I will do what I said I would do. Hope in me."

The Lord makes me laugh and He gives me confidence to wait...

patiently.