Hard to be Selfless...

I just caught a glimpse of an oft quoted and preached verse in Matthew 6. Verses 3 and 4 have this to say about why we do what we often do:

When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.

John Ortberg once reminded me about "impression management" - how often we say things to position ourselves as more important or less awkward or more intelligent than we really are. I just did it right there, nonchalantly dropping his name as if he spoke this as a reprimand to a longtime friend who has permission to speak wisdom into my life, when in actuality, I read it from a book he wrote. Don't I seem connected, respected, relevant?

But, herein lies the dilemma: when we seek spiritual growth and transformation, are we seeking a victory that we share with only ourselves, building our own ego, our own self image, or is our audience the God who commands us to be made new in the attitude of our minds? (Eph. 4.23) Do we seek personal growth or Godular growth? I mean, who are we trying to please? Did you give that homeless lady your shirt to impress your girlfriend, make your parents think you're "getting this God thing", or to please God? Or worse, are you doing it because God tells you to and you're just trying to get in with Him? Just storing up treasures in Heaven...

Treasures for who?

I'm accusing us as being selfish in our selflessness. Do we seek to do God's will or do we seek to get his attention, respect, or favor so we feel better about ourselves, so our circumstances improve? At the root, we all have a tendency to do things, "selfless things" because of what it will do for us. It is so hard to separate ourselves from this pattern.

I think this is where the Holy Spirit comes in and comes in handy - relying on Him to move our hearts toward a decision not because it seems "right", feels "good". If we think for ourselves, we often do just that: think for our selves. We know something is rright, wrong, good, evil, etc. because of that little barometer that goes off in our hearts when something doesn't seem right or something makes sense (caveat: Jeremiah 17.9). Rather than relying on feeling, we are urged to listen for the voice of God through His Messenger. This can help us separate God's will for us from our selfish acts of selflessness.

Are you listening or are you building the biggest stack of bling in Heaven? Is that bling for your glory or His?

Pray hard.